What does the psalmist mean when he says, “I have eaten ashes like bread, and mingled my drink with weeping” (Ps. 102:9)?

The answer

In Psalm 42:3 we saw that David’s holy tears reveal his unceasing hunger and thirst for God, and in Psalm 80:5 we read, “You have fed them with the bread of tears, and given them tears to drink in great measure.” This depicts the bitterness of a broken soul whose tears fall on her bread due to the intensity of grief, becoming like food or drink for the soul. Psalm 102:9 depicts mourners who cover their heads and clothes with ashes, so when they come to eat through sheer force of hunger, they find their food contaminated with ashes from their bodies and clothing. The psalmist says that he eats the ashes themselves.

Anthimus of Jerusalem believes that the misfortunes mentioned in this psalm refer to the afflictions of the Jews after they crucified Christ. Their livelihood became like the ashes left over from the sacrifices they burned, and their joyful drink was mingled with their tears. Their days became like a shadow, because they served the law that is but a shadow or a sketch of the law of the gospel. They became dry like straw, they became as food for cattle, and fuel for fire. The psalmist became severely emaciated due to anxiety and sleeplessness.

St. Augustine says, “For many groan, and I also groan; even for this I groan, because they groan for a wrong cause. That man has lost a piece of money, he groans … He commits fraud, and rejoices … For we wish to correct them, we wish to amend them, we wish to reform them, and when we cannot, we groan; and when we groan, we are not separated from them.”⁵²⁹

Fr. Tadros Yacoub Malaty