The answer
Neither situation is new nor is it common, but unfortunately, more and more it is becoming common. Premarital relations become most problematic in marriage when one spouse discovers or suspects that the other spouse has had these past relations. The problem is less noticed when the spouses were honest with each other prior to marriage. Perhaps this is because the marriage either did not take place following the revelation of one's past sexual experiences or because their honesty actually saved their relationship and they were able to proceed without incidence regarding these previous relations. This young lady's decision to reveal this very private and embarrassing information that took place a while ago and for which she expressed deep regrets is admirable because she could have chosen not to disclose any of this information and maintain her dignity in your eyes. Her immediate honesty versus her loss of virginity is a difficult decision that only you can make. If you decide to leave her, you do not know if your next potential relationship may have similar secrets or perhaps other things. On the other hand, if you decide to stay with her and proceed with your relationship unto marriage, you must be able to put this disclosure completely behind you and never bring it up again. Repentance cleanses the slate clean and is restorative. Thus, if she sincerely repented, it is as if she is still a virgin—spiritually. Either decision requires prayer and humbleness of heart. At the end, it is your decision. If you can forgive and forget completely, you may move forward. If not, it is better to leave her.Answered by His Eminence Metropolitan Youssef (opens in a new tab)