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Questions & Answers

Friendship

Faith Q&A › Metropolitan Youssef › Youth, Dating and Friendship › Friendship

The question

How important is friendship? Everyone around me in the church and especially at home keeps telling me that friendship is not that important and that it will not last. Every time I spend time with certain friends or go out of my way to help out, do something, or be there for a close friend, they discourage me not to do it because of their past experiences with a friendship that ended on a bad note or maybe because they have never really had a close friend. I know that in each stage of life, we have different priorities and our ultimate priority should be God and his friendship; but it is always nice to have a friend that maybe shares the same or similar spiritual struggles or someone with whom you can talk when you need. But if God’s "friendship" is the ultimate priority, then is there a point in investing anything in a friendship? We read about David and Jonathan and it makes me wonder how important is friendship? Is it more important to listen to what my family/Egyptians have to say about the meaninglessness of friendship or to cherish a good friendship even if it means to stand up against everyone else?

The answer

God created us as social beings, "And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'" (Genesis 2:18). Friendships, as in all relationships, require mutual boundaries and respect: "The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray" (Proverbs 12:26). Setting appropriate boundaries between friends will help you understand the dynamics in many different kinds of relationships: in marriage, at the workplace, in service, with neighbors, etc. A good friend is a worthy companion who shares similar interests, especially a spiritual life. Consider the Lord's disciples. Relationships move at different paces. The role of a friend is different than an acquaintance, a teacher, or your confession father. What you reveal to one, you need not share with another. "A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates the best of friends" (Proverbs 16:28). It is normal for friends to sometimes drift away. Either you or your friend may develop new interests, move, or have different commitments or responsibilities. Choose your friends carefully and deal with all people with wisdom and kindness. A good friend is one who builds you up, tells you the truth, and wants what is best for you. "Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel" (Proverbs 27:9). 

Answered by His Eminence Metropolitan Youssef (opens in a new tab)

Related questions

Questions answered by His Eminence Metropolitan Youssef (opens in a new tab) of the Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States. Question 2515 on the Diocese’s Q&A site. Questions and answers © Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States. All rights reserved.