Questions & Answers

Courtship

Faith Q&A › Metropolitan Youssef › Marriage and Family › Courtship

The question

I have been dating a guy from the church now for three and a half years. My family has known about it, and our fathers of confession are guiding the both of us. Recently, my mother has found out information about his family of which she disapproves. His mother was previously married. I was told she was divorced and remarried under the Coptic Church. However, my mother has heard that this is not true and many other negative things about her. My mother says that marrying into a family like this will cause many problems in our future marital life. She wants me to end my relationship with him because of everything she heard about his family. If his mother's sins are true and the problems in his family an important factor in deciding whether this person is right to marry? How does one address these factors with him?

The answer

Every situation presents varying factors to consider. This sins of one's parents are not the sole factors in ending a relationship. We are all sinners. However, the lifestyle in which extended family members are currently living needs to be considered because that spiritual and social climate will somehow be integrated into your life. Unfortunately, some marriages end in divorce. This is a very sad, but private matter. The Church strives to keep the family together. There is a clerical council assigned to each case. The assigned clergy are impartial and hear both sides and investigate all the evidence. If the Church grants either or both husband and wife the right to remarry, no one should question nor judge why, how, when, or any of the details of the Church clerical council. Continue guidance with your spiritual fathers as you have been correctly doing and refer them to your parents to help alleviate their concerns.

Answered by His Eminence Metropolitan Youssef (opens in a new tab)

Questions answered by His Eminence Metropolitan Youssef (opens in a new tab) of the Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States. Question 2584 on the Diocese’s Q&A site. Questions and answers © Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States. All rights reserved.