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Marriage

Faith Q&A › Metropolitan Youssef › Marriage and Family › Marriage

The question

I am a student in pharmacy, second year. I met a wonderful girl who has changed my life drastically. I started to go to church, serve as a deacon, pray, read the bible daily, and have joined servants' prep class. This has been going on for nine weeks now. I am interested in getting married to this girl as I think she will make a wonderful wife and mother. However, I am facing two problems: the first is that she is two and a half years older than me, and secondly her family does not seem to welcome the idea. I am thinking of getting engaged in my fourth year of College. She has some problems, but my parents overlooked them and still like her for the changes she has brought about in me. I have been praying about it and so has she. Neither of us knows if this is the will of God or not. Could you please advise me?

The answer

I am happy to see you starting to have a relationship with the Lord and that this person has brought you back to Him. I want you first thing to examine yourself and honestly assess if this change is because she is in your life now or it is really the love of the Lord that fills your heart. If she leaves you now, would you go back to your old ways or you will adhere to the Lord and follow His way no matter what.

I see that you are still in second year; therefore you do have time to think about this issue. You do not need to make a decision right now. You have mentioned you started to change nine weeks ago but you didn't mention for how long you've known this girl. Is she still in school? I advice you to take your time and see how things will go.Do not rush into a decision right now and see how time will affect this relationship. I am saying this not because she is older than you. I would have said the same thing if she was younger. The two year difference is not the main issue here but the maturity of both of you and the readiness for commitment in a marriage bond. Is what really matters. Marriage should not be rushed. Pray about it that the Lord may show you His will in your life.

Answered by His Eminence Metropolitan Youssef (opens in a new tab)

Related questions

Questions answered by His Eminence Metropolitan Youssef (opens in a new tab) of the Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States. Question 806 on the Diocese’s Q&A site. Questions and answers © Coptic Orthodox Diocese of the Southern United States. All rights reserved.