The answer
Pre-marital sexual relationships are wrong and harmful, because you are not going to know your partner but your failure. You are going to enter marriage from the door of lust and not love. In the Bible, there are three Greek words for love: EROS, which is the sensual love; it is lust rather than love. It is turning the holy, sexual love into something materialistic - sex has become body to body instead of person to person. And if you are dealing with sex in such a way, you will be living in lust and you will be lost. This is because once you marry, you will feel monotonous toward your partner, and you will feel annoyed and frustrated, searching outside for another, and leaving your spouse within a few years. The result is that your marriage will be broken, unsuccessful, will not be eternal, and will not give you happiness. As a Christian, and practically, if you enter marriage through the door of lust, you will leave from the door of lust also. The second kind of love is PHILIA, the love you have towards your family and friends. It is the human love that is giving and taking. The third kind of love is AGAPE - this is the most pure, spiritual love, baptised by the Holy Spirit, and this is the kind of love we should aspire to, in order to have successful marriages.
A journalist once asked His Holiness Pope Shenouda, “What is the difference between love and lust?” He replied, “Love is always giving, lust is always taking”. The people living in lust are not happy, they are suffering because they are committed to pleasures rather than happiness. Their children turn out stressed, rebellious, lonely, in despair, and longing for family life and love.
Therefore, we are not pressuring you when we say keep yourself holy and pure, and to have spiritual strength and struggle, but you should accept with love and freedom, and according to your own conviction. You must be freely convinced that this kind of living is wrong, and that purity is right. If you don't put limitations in your life, you will end up destroying your life. If you commit yourself to lust, your conscience will be troubled, and you will feel you are not able to confess or take Holy Communion, and you can’t enjoy Christian life and love. Please keep yourself pure so that your marriage will have fruitful results.
H.G. Bishop Moussa